The Precursor

In my head, when I go shopping and end up with a dressing room full of clothes (that ultimately becomes an Anthro Bag full of clothes...),  I put them on and hope that they will help change the parts of me I dont like so much. That I will become a happy, slender, well-adjusted chick with no daddy issues, no undesireable wobbliness, and a Clear Idea of What She Wants In Life: to be awesome and play the guitar under trees with cool people who vie for time with her because Its Just That Awesome... I said awesome twice. Ive been watching a lot of HIMYM. I would also like to have friends like Lily and Marshall and a bar like MacLarens.

Balls.

I dont know how to play the guitar.
Well... I have that E-chord down pretty well...

I am, however, AWESOME.
I have awesome friends who love me.
They're far away, which is hard, but they're my rocks and I dont know what I'd do without them.
I actually DO have a pretty awesome job (Sure, it drives me bonkers. But I LOVE what I do. And I'm proud of myself for being Everyone's Favorite StephaNurse.)
I get to run around the country and have adventures and be the Grounded Free Spirit that my mercurial personality wants me to be.
Things. Are. Kind. Of. Awesome.
And I need to keep telling myself that.
And also tell myself that even though I am feeling lonely or a little lost, Another SunDress Will Not Make My Life Better.

For now, I'm playing a lot of bands from the north hills. It's good music to haz-a-sad to but still be made happy by. Something about the jangly guitars and sasparilla-piano playing...