Someone please Cut Off My Grabby Hands.

without going into it...
*and HOLY CRAP have I written like 5 versions of this note where I *soooooo* went into it. fingerpads hurt. too much typing. owowowow*
anyway. without going into it...
a straw has broken my poor little camel's back.
now the camel is walkin' with a limp and dribbles pee everywhere and looks kind of glassy-eyed.
so. i'm stuck with a fucked up camel and i have to fix him because NOBODY WANTS A DRIBBLE CAMEL AROUND.
the $800 worth of stuff I just mailed back to ModCloth and Anthro will help fund the "Buy Stephanie's Camel A Wheely Cart Like Those Little Chihuahuas Get When They Go FloppyLegged" cause.
^^ see what I did there? Snuck that one right in.
Yes.
There is a problem.
Yo, I'll solve it.
Check out the hook while my Dejay Revolves It.
(the Dejay only has depressing music becasue that's the playlist the iphone defaults to. we'll work on fixing that, too...)

I can totally stop anytime I want.
And My Time Has Come.
Suck it, Dawes.*

*I dont actually mean that. I still love you guys. You dont have to suck it. Unless you want. But seriously, I'm a lady. Dinner and maybe a little dancing first, please.

The Precursor

In my head, when I go shopping and end up with a dressing room full of clothes (that ultimately becomes an Anthro Bag full of clothes...),  I put them on and hope that they will help change the parts of me I dont like so much. That I will become a happy, slender, well-adjusted chick with no daddy issues, no undesireable wobbliness, and a Clear Idea of What She Wants In Life: to be awesome and play the guitar under trees with cool people who vie for time with her because Its Just That Awesome... I said awesome twice. Ive been watching a lot of HIMYM. I would also like to have friends like Lily and Marshall and a bar like MacLarens.

Balls.

I dont know how to play the guitar.
Well... I have that E-chord down pretty well...

I am, however, AWESOME.
I have awesome friends who love me.
They're far away, which is hard, but they're my rocks and I dont know what I'd do without them.
I actually DO have a pretty awesome job (Sure, it drives me bonkers. But I LOVE what I do. And I'm proud of myself for being Everyone's Favorite StephaNurse.)
I get to run around the country and have adventures and be the Grounded Free Spirit that my mercurial personality wants me to be.
Things. Are. Kind. Of. Awesome.
And I need to keep telling myself that.
And also tell myself that even though I am feeling lonely or a little lost, Another SunDress Will Not Make My Life Better.

For now, I'm playing a lot of bands from the north hills. It's good music to haz-a-sad to but still be made happy by. Something about the jangly guitars and sasparilla-piano playing...